4/28/2010

Just go with the flow. That's what they tell you, and that's been my mantra. Whatever comes my way, just accept it, remember it, but don't question it, and keep moving. Coming straight out of a liberal arts college where I got a degree criticizing and analyzing literature, this is strange to do. They told me to question everything, so I became a skeptic, always doubting everything, even what they told me. The reason I'm surviving is my tact. I was raised, but have also learned, to not make anyone angry. Avoid controversy. Flatter. Be completely on the boss's side (or at least pretend to). I learned these things by being my father's son. It didn't serve me well in America, well, not great. People get famous by causing controversy, going against the grain. In Korea, if you're young, if you're lower, you don't do shit except kiss ass. I learned to smile and bow to everyone. I learned how to accept soju the right way. I never did anything out of turn. I wracked my brain to remember tips from culture books. When I was told it's impolite to bow with your hands in your pockets, I stopped. Then when I was told how well I was doing, that I seem like I've been in Korea for many years, that I'm the best foreigner they've met, that I'm very polite, I just smiled meekly and ducked my head, trying to avoid the compliment, according to the rules of custom. But I'm still a foreigner. And because I'm a "good" one, I don't want to lose my reputation. If I slip up, I'm just another foreigner who everyone hates. And because they're all so close, if someone sees me pour soju wrong on one side of the city, the whole school could know about it by tomorrow morning. Sometimes I feel like I'm a houseguest on this peninsula and everyone here is one big strict family who doesn't have company often.